you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
