Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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