I think i sorta joined a cult last night
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
