this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
