just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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