he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
