I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
