she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
