If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize