I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
