I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
