Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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