Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
