just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
