That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
