PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
