Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
