Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
