Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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