It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
