Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
