Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize