Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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