i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
