He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I love you.
Bad choice
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