I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
