There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you have to choose: penises or morals?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That accounts for only three of the penises
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
