So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
