I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize