I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
My balls are so social today.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize