Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
