The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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