Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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