If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
