if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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