For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
