Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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