i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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