Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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