so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
