dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
