Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
