brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
