i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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