If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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