Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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