I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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