I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
