Will you blow on my dice?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
