In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
And then he peed in my hair
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