I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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