i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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