before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
