from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
