Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize