i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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