I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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