shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
