I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
