It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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