You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize