Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize