You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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