Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
