I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
