I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
